
Though a parallel marriage isn't sustainable for long — at least, not if you want an emotionally intimate relationship — the good news is that the distance is sometimes only temporary. Couples with small children may build parallel lives as they juggle feedings, bath time, doctor's visits, and trying to catch up on sleep. Work, too, can play a role, particularly if one or both partners have busy periods that require overtime and business trips.
These kinds of circumstantial factors often get better over time, especially if you and your spouse both commit to making changes. For example, you could agree to get a babysitter every Friday evening for date night, or you might talk to your boss and set boundaries around how many extra hours you're willing to work.
However, some parallel marriages grow out of conflict and can be just as destructive as a marriage plagued by infidelity, according to The Summit Counseling Center. In these relationships, partners often villainize each other and prefer to avoid meaningful conversations that could potentially stir up an argument. If you're in a conflict-ridden parallel marriage, the bad has mostly eclipsed the good, and you feel more like competitors living under one roof than a team working toward the same goals.
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